James writes A Note To A Lover

Your gone, and I am alone. I think I learn how much I honestly have been caring about you over the past month. We barely have any food and I honestly can't say we have been spending it on booze. We are in this struggle together yet I feel like I am not pulling my weight. I need to offer you more. I need not to run away. This bird keeps whispering in my ear the French Foreign Legion but for the first time in my life I have to stop and think I might lose you. Honestly I think you might be the only person that can smell my bullshit and call me out on it. I think you might be the only one I could be in a relationship with and honestly really just want to be with you. I know money can be an issue, and due to the way I live it usually isn't there. Will you still be here. I love your touch and I am sorry my weird depression has rubbed off on you. I sometimes feel that moving here was something that really has me spun. I really have no friends out here yet. I am alone but I am not. I have you and I couldn't imagine this without you. I have been engaged once and have fallen before, just not this hard. Hell you do fashion, and I usually smell and have become a lazy bum. I will change, I have just become a hermit crab in my own sense. I guess going from Downtown LA to buttfuck France is a big change. I need to be going out more, maybe alone. I need to get a steady job. I need not worry about bullshit. I am sorry I have been making your life seem like bullshit. Your amazing, Your birthday is soon and I don't even have enough money to take you to a concert I said I was going to. I might just have to sneak you in. I am realy glad you snuck into my life. I couldn't even tell you how much it sucks to sleep in a twin size bed with someone like you. You snore more than any boy I know and you drool but so do I and that why I love you. I also must admit you put up with alot of shit. It will get better. I will get better. I am just lost and this is me not running away. This is me thinking for once in my life I can't leave something. This is the boy surrendering to the man. This is me committing to something. This is me saying if I am joining the French Foreign Legion it is with you. This is me saying if I am bicycling around the World its with you. This is me saying Paris is not the end of the world. This is me saying in the month of our birthdays that you are the raddest fucking woman I have ever met.

You embody everything I am not but at the same time hold the soul that fits perfect.

This is James Expressing Himself.

This is me not wanting to be an jerk.

This me appreciating what I do have.

This is me saying goodnight.